Maybe its because my kids are getting bigger. Maybe its because of the POTUS visit to Great Falls last week. Or maybe its because I am big huge bleeding heart snowflake pain-in-the-butt. I don’t exactly know the catalyst, but I have found I have become downright passionate about the problem we have facing acceptance and kindness in our world.
When I speak at schools, I start with two items for two reasons. One is to hopefully keep the kids behaved and engaged, the other is to hopefully get my passion across in a fun way.
I explain that my book is about superheroes, that usually garners some interest right away. Then I tell the students my superhero book has helped me actually get a chance to meet with some actual superheroes. Now, regardless of whether they are young and innocent enough to buy this statement, kids always seem amused and interested in what comes next. I then let them in on a secret the heroes told me, The Superhero Code.
The Code goes like this: If one has a superpower, they are required, by the Superhero Code, to use that power. Choosing not to use the power will have them stricken from the league of superheroes and subject to enlistment into the world of villainy.
This gets kids thinking a bit, like, if Superman is flying through the sky and sees a cat stuck in a tree, he’s gotta help the cat. Even if he doesn’t particularly like cats or if this specific cat belongs to Lex Luthor himself, he has to, by code, save the cat.
Then I tell the audience the superheroes also told me about two superpowers everyone has. I make sure and allow for the fact that some of them might have more than two, but there are two that everyone is blessed with. The first is respect. I share the importance of respect for parents, teachers, even me as a speaker. If they show me respect and raise their hands and pay attention, they will make my day infinitely better, which is a heck of a power!
The second is kindness, I ask if anyone has ever seen a classmate or friend having a bad day, or getting picked on during recess. 100% of hands usually shoot up. I then ask, if when that has happened, if they have been kind or caring to that classmate. Usually a few hands sheepishly go down. After that, I ask if when they showed kindness, was the friend happier, or did it change their mood. At this point, I see light-bulbs going off all over the room (not literally). I love it, its the greatest thing ever.
I finish with asking them to pledge their allegiance to the Superhero Code by being kind and respectful, and starting right now.
I’m not sure the allegiance to the code lasts long, but I love to make kids think about how a positive action can change someone’s day, week, or potentially even life.
I don’t specifically preach acceptance, but I hope kindness can be a foundation for it.
I have lived in a lot of different places with a lot of different cultures. I literally lived on the Fort Peck Indian Reservation in elementary school and one of my favorite people on the planet is one of, if not the, first Native American coach in the NBA G-League. That’s a big part of the inspiration behind Aaron Bird Feather from the book. I grew up with so many great friends and sports competitors who are Native, and at the same time I heard incredibly bigoted views and statements from those around me about how these terrible drunk, lazy, free-loaders are. It never computed for me. How can Calvin Gone, Erik Stiffarm, Erick Buck Elk, Emmanuel Buck Elk, Cedric Prairie Chief, Pat Cole, Justin Wetzel, and countless other Native Americans who I loved like brothers or respected as competitors be seen this way? Sure there were stories of individuals on the reservation with problems, and there’s no doubt each reservation has cultural strengths and weaknesses, but how was that different than any town, area, or group in the world?
The towns in Montana I called home were tiny and other than being on or near reservation were certainly not melting pots for various cultures. This to me meant I had no preconceived notions about any other races, cultures, creeds, anything. Interestingly, when I got to college, I found many others with similar backgrounds to mine weren’t so lucky. I literally met 18 year old men who literally never met a black person have the most hate filled thoughts and comments about them seconds later, or after playing a pick-up basketball game with them. After college I moved and traveled all over the country and shockingly found it could be much much worse. It still makes no sense, its has to be so cultural, and I’m embarrassed for us, as a culture.
I am embarrassed when I hear seemingly good, god-fearing people suddenly use the n-word. I am embarrassed when, as a professional recruiter, I was literally told not to ‘bother’ with hiring women or minorities. I’m scared that when kids here my kindness talk, they will assume it only mean certain kinds of people.
I don’t know how to fix it, but I’m sure gonna try. I’m starting with my own kids, and I hope to get to as many as humanly possible.
Feel free to help me out.